Chris Adrian
Kangamouse by Chris Adrian
This story is published in collaboration with Significant Objects. Bid to win Kangamouse + story by Chris Adrian here. Proceeds go to 826 National, and the story comes in a bottle from Dead Horse Bay. Read more about our team-up with Significant Objects here.
My brother and I could not agree on how to worship the mouse. It was typical of us back then that we could agree that it should be worshipped—that was obvious from the day it arrived in the mail, a gift from our father, who had been in Vietnam for three years, which was one-third of George’s life and one-half of mine, on business more important than his wife and his sons. The last gift had been a green and yellow straw mat, and we agreed that it was, in fact, a prayer-mat, the use of which only became clear with the advent of the mouse. The evening it arrived we knelt in our room in our pajamas in the dark. George had his flashlight out and he shined it on the mouse’s face.
“Great Faaa,” he said. “Mighty Faaa, hear our prayers.” He said the name in a sing-song, high-pitched voice. We had just seen “Day of the Dolphin” the week before. I put my hand on the flashlight and pushed it down, so the little monkey in the mouse’s heart was more plainly illuminated.
“Mr. Peepers,” I said. “Source of the All, forgive our sins! Don’t punish us!”
“What are you doing?” George asked, and our argument began. We quarreled subtly, at first—we still shared the mouse, but prayed differently to it—and then more obviously, stealing Him back and forth, and performing secret worship in the closet or the basement or the pool shed. The violence, when it came, attracted our mother’s attention. “If you can’t share that hideous piece of trash, I’m going to throw it away,” she said, and that night we prayed peacefully, imploring Faaa and Mr. Peepers not to hurt her, but by the morning we were fighting again. “Faaa!” George said to me, sitting on my chest and pummeling my head with the sides of his fists, and I could almost understand how his whole argument could be contained in just the name. I wanted to tell him that there was a monkey in my heart, and a monkey in his heart, and a monkey in everybody’s heart, and there was nothing worse in the world than an unappeased, unworshipped monkey who lived in you and was mad at you. But all I could say was, “Mr. Peepers!”
“Why can’t you two just be good?” our mother asked, and she took up Peepers-Faaa in her hand and threw Him against the wall, breaking off His ear. I cried, but George screamed at her, telling something horrible was going to happen to us because of what she had done, and horrible things did happen to us. She took up the body and flushed it down the toilet, and George said later that it was a miracle of Faaa that it flushed, but that it made sense that He would exercise His magic to get away from our mother, and from me.
I still have the ear.
About the Author
Chris Adrian is the author of two novels, “Gob’s Grief” and “The Children’s Hospital,” and a collection of short stories, “A Better Angel.”
Significant (Underwater) Objects Week
Our anthology is brimming with proof that creativity can transform underwater trash to narrative treasure. And next week we’re teaming up with Significant Objects, a literary magazine that publishes on eBay, to convert once-underwater objects into actual cash to benefit 826 National, the non-profit that tutors kids in creative and expository writing. How cool is that? Featuring stories by Chris Adrian, Deb Olin Unferth, Kathryn Davis, Robert Lopez and Tom McCarthy inventing significance for five objects found on our excursion to Dead Horse Bay last fall, next week promises to be extraordinary.
You can be a part of it! Here’s how:
Every day we’ll publish one story about an object from Dead Horse Bay, and a link to the eBay auction page where you can bid to win the object. The winning bidder will get the newly significant object, plus the story – rolled up in an antique bottle from Dead Horse Bay. And, of course, the feel-good factor of supporting the great work of 826 National.
If you’re thinking – who’s going to bid real money on junk? – we’re thrilled to introduce you to Significant Objects. Launched last year as an experiment to discover whether narrative can add measurable value to second-hand doodads, Significant Objects recruited writers (Colson Whitehead, Myla Goldberg, Jonathan Lethem, and many more) to invent stories about stuff bought at thrift stores and yard sales. Selling the paired object and story on eBay, Significant Objects demonstrated that great stories do boost the value of otherwise-worthless junk, and set out to use that value for a greater good. The proceeds from eBay auctions of Volume 2 all go to 826 National – they’ve already raised upwards of $1500.
Our collaboration marks the last week of Significant Objects Volume 2 – let’s help it go out with a bang! Sign up for our newsletter and we’ll send you the stories each day, or just come back here to see who’s writing about what, and bid away! Be a part of this fantastic team-up AND support a fantastic cause. Everyone wins. And you could win Kangamouse and friends!
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Contributors
- Adam Sexton
- Alanna Schubach
- Aldina Vazao Kennedy
- Alex Dimitrov
- Allyson Paty
- Apryl Lee
- Ben Greenman
- Boris Timanovsky
- Bridget Talone
- Cate Marvin
- Chris Adrian
- Claire Shefchik
- Danniel Schoonebeek
- David Ciminello
- David Hollander
- Deb Olin Unferth
- Dolan Morgan
- Ed Park
- Elizabeth Gaffney
- Elizabeth Pickard
- Ella Mei Yon Biggadike
- Helen Georgas
- Isaac Kestenbaum
- Jaime Lowe
- James McClosky
- Jen Fitzgerald
- Joe Fritsch
- Jonathan Callahan
- KC Trommer
- Kate Overgaard
- Kathryn Davis
- Katie Arnold-Ratliff
- Katie Naughton
- Kristen Witucki
- Lashon Daley
- Matthea Harvey
- Megan Gilbert
- Melissa Seley
- Michelle Wildgen
- Mike Lala
- Nelly Reifler
- Nicki Pombier Berger
- Nicole Haroutunian
- Nicole Miller
- Rachel Dix
- Rebecca Resnick
- Robert Lopez
- Said Sayrafiezadeh
- Sara Weiss
- Tom McCarthy
- Adrian Kinloch
- Alexis Neider
- Amy Jean Porter
- Colette Murphy
- Dan Selzer
- Deborah Sabat
- Elizabeth Albert
- George Boorujy
- Jill Allyn Peterson
- John Urquhart
- Kira Sexton
- Kris Percival
- Lee Arnold
- Maggie Tobin
- Marie Lorenz
- Mary Mattingly
- Nate Dorr
- Nicole Haroutunian
- Nura Qureshi
- Rick Caruso
- Roger Borg
- Rose Nestler
- Sarah Mostow
- Tricia Vita
- Aaron Diskin
- Annette Ezekiel Kogan
- Deidre Rodman Struck
- Doug Keith
- Lawrence Kim and His Boss
- Lindsay Sullivan
- Michael Hearst
- Richard McGraw
- Supergood!
- The Deedle Deedle Dees
Objects
- 1600 bars of silver
- 1968 Lincoln Continental
- Abandoned buoy
- Art in a bottle
- Baby doll heads
- Battleship toy
- Birdcage
- Body
- Boot
- Bottles
- Car
- Clara Bell clown
- Cleat
- Concrete Pilings
- Contaminated fish
- Crabs
- Current
- Deck of cards
- Deer
- Dentures
- Dolphin
- Dreamland
- Dreamland bell
- Ellis Island Ferry
- Eyeglasses
- Flying fish (kite)
- Formica dinette
- Freight train
- Giraffe
- Good Humor Ice Cream Trucks
- Grand Piano
- Green boat
- Headless Dutch Boy figurine
- Heel and Key
- Horse bones
- Humpback whale
- Jet Ski
- Kangamouse
- Kawasaki waverunner
- Lightship Frying Pan
- Lottery tickets
- Mermaid
- Minke whale
- Monkey comforter
- Mussel shells
- Mysterious goo
- Oil
- Pan flute
- Pants
- Pipe
- Plane Crash
- Plastic Purse
- Produce
- Rose and carnations
- Scooter
- Sea glass
- Shinbone
- Shipwreck
- Shoes
- Shopping cart
- Silver Rattle
- Sitar Boy
- State secrets
- Stripped cars
- Submarine
- Submerged barge
- Surveillance Systems
- Tampon applicators
- Tea Pot
- Teredos & Gribbles
- The Abyss
- The General Slocum
- The Princess Anne
- Toilet paper
- Toxins
- Toy airplane
- Volvo
- Waterpod
- Wharf rats
- White boat
- Yellow bear
Body of Water
- Arthur Kill
- Cedar Grove Beach
- Coney Island
- Coney Island Creek
- Dead Horse Bay
- East Hampton
- East River
- Gerritsen Beach
- Gowanus Canal
- Hell Gate
- Hudson River
- Hutchinson River
- Jamaica Bay
- Little Neck Bay
- Long Island Sound
- Lower New York Bay
- Melted snow
- New Dorp Beach
- New York Harbor
- Newark Bay
- Newtown Creek
- Plum Beach
- Prospect Park Pond
- Red Hook
- Rockaway
- The Coral Room
- The Narrows
- Upper New York Bay
- Westchester River
- World's Fair Marina


